


Archie II

by queen_fiend (pau22)



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-01
Updated: 2009-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-05 07:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pau22/pseuds/queen_fiend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for drabble tree <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/reddwarfslash/265424.html"></a>here.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Archie II

**Author's Note:**

> Written for drabble tree [](http://community.livejournal.com/reddwarfslash/265424.html)here.

  
Rimmer entered his quarters and was met with a loud crashing noise.

“Lister?” he said loudly.

Kryten emerged from a closet, looking sheepish. “Er, hello sir. I’m afraid that Archie has escaped again.”

“And who, may I ask, is Archie?”

“Oh, sir, I forgot you wouldn’t know. When they put me in the women’s wing in prison on the new Red Dwarf, I protested by making myself a penis.”

A look of disgust crossed Rimmer’s face. “And you named it Archie, presumably?”

“That’s right, sir. Of course, he got lost in all the confusion between then and now, but I’ve just made a new one.”

“I may be missing something here, Kryten, but _why?_”

“Oh, but I didn’t make a new Archie for me, I made it for Mister Lister.”

“Mister…Lister?” Rimmer spluttered.

Kryten popped his head out of Lister’s locker to see confusion and horror on Rimmer’s face. “I know what you may be thinking sir, but it’s not that. You see, Archie has always been good at hiding and avoiding capture, so I thought it would be a good idea to utilize those features in a device to scout planetoids and derelicts for food and other supplies! I do need to tweak him a bit though, because it’s no good when _we_ can’t even catch him.”

Kryten returned to his search. Rimmer shook his head, muttered “insane bog-bot,” and stalked out of the room.


End file.
